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| Hi, I'm sorry it has been a while. I'm not going to make any excuses. I'm going straight to the update. (: Today I absolutely think was pointless. My 4th block sucks big time, I miss my guitar class. I absolutely slept in all of my classes including the huge nap during PE. Yes, I napped in PE, odd to say, but I absolutely did it. I wanted to go to Dinner Theatre today. :( maybe we should develop a crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. a happiness weapon, a beauty bomb and every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. it would explode high in the air, explode softly and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air, floating down to earth, boxes of crayolasand we wouldn't go cheap, either.. not little boxes of eight but boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. with silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest and people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination.- robert fulghum
"whatever my real problems might be, i didn't want them cured. none of the little secrets inside me wanted to be found and explained away. by myths, by my childhood, by chemistry. my fear was what would be left? so none of my real grudges and dreads ever came out into the light of day. i didn't want to resolve any angst. i'd never talk about my dead family. express my grief she called it, resolve it, leave it all behind."
I believe that there is more to life than the physical world, that people are more than simply flesh and blood, but also have spirit. I believe that the world is made up of and constantly interacts with energy, and that we attract what we put out–so if we are putting out negative energy, we attract negative energy, conversely, if we are putting out positive energy, we attract positive energy. I believe that most religions have cores of truth, that they are all metaphors attempting to explain what is divine and what is unexplainable. I believe that because religions are made up of human beings, they are all flawed. I believe that spirituality is not synonymous with religious–that one can be spiritual and religious, religious without being spiritual, but can also be spiritual without being religious. I believe that compassion is the beginning of, and the best of what is humanity and that compassion in oneself and in others should be nurtured. I believe that living only for the end results or “what comes next” is short sighted, and that eternity isn’t only a length of time, but a place of being and that eternity can be found in every moment–and those moments shouldn’t be wasted. I believe that we are not responsible for or defined what other people say or do (even if it is about or to us), but that we are only responsible with what we say, or how we act and/or react. I believe that life is in the journey, that life is a continual process of growth, that if you aren’t growing and learning–then you aren’t living
You asked me if I believe in magic, and I said yes, and that's how. You just step out, start pulling your life out of the air. You make friends, you find work you reallly like doing, you find places. You find diners and Laundromats. You find beaches. You find a junk car and drive it for a month, then leave it beside the road. You find someone to fall in love with you. You make it all up as you go. Or, you know, maybe it makes you up.
Just because a friendship or relationship ends does not mean that the other person is a bad person. Nor does it mean that the other person is crazy. Nor does it mean that the other person never cared about you or any of those things we often say. It simply means that it wasn't meant to work out and though it is horrible and unfortunate and sometimes heartbreaking, it's not the end of the world. Other friends will come along, other boyfriends and girlfriends will come along. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. And that has to be okay. It has to be okay because otherwise what do we have? At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice, and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism, and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political ideas. –Aldous Huxley Here's to the starry nights and careless freedom, to glowing smiles and flushed cheeks, and laughter that heals you deep inside.
I wish the world was flat like the old days. Then I could travel just by folding a map. No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways. There'd be no distance that could hold us back.
Let's run away to a place where the air tastes like rain and the sun shines like Sunday morning. You bring your laugh and I'll bring my sense of humor, and we can taste the days, one week after another. 
plasticinessss.
I really liked this picture back in the day. :)
the boy is cute, but I want his camera. D:
jensen acklessss.jflaksjfeiosjfilasj
   
   
   
   
   
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| Not that much. :[
If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the sixties, that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal. -John Lennon Fate. It's what people invent to explain what they can't understand. If you think someone is the one, you tell yourself it was meant to happen. And if it breaks your heart, you tell yourself it wasn't meant to be. I've spent ten years trying to find a man who knows where I am in a room the moment he steps inside, without having to look. But that hasn't happened. I can admit the truth to myself - that I've got lousy luck at finding love - or I can tell myself that I haven't crossed paths with my soul mate yet. It's always easier to be a victim than a failure. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -- Albert Einstein we don't read & write poetry because it's cute.
we read & write poetry because we are members of the human race.
& the human race is filled with passion.
& medicine, law, business, engineering,
these are noble pursuits & necessary to sustain life.
but poetry, beauty, romance, love,
these are what we stay alive for.
(dead poet's society)A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world
the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow,
he said, which you can do today.
This is the man who discovered electricity.
You think more people would listen to what he had to say.
I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess,
I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear.
Fear of failure, fear of rejection,
sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong?
What if you're making a mistake you can't undo?
The early bird catches the worm.
A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost.
We can't pretend we hadn't been told.
We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents
warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day.
Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves.
We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons.
We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore.
Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant.
That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping,
and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.
People, wake up and look around you. Stop and smell the roses before their vines
grow up and strangle the life from you. There is no order, there is no peace.
The world we live in is far from perfect. We pretend that everything is in black and white,
that there are no gray areas. We build walls between the truth and ourselves
because we're afraid of what it might tell us, and we know,
somewhere deep down inside us, that what the truth has to say
is not what we want to hear. We live our entire lives in a little box
where we tell ourselves we're happy, while wars are fought and people suffer
and die and our society destroys itself. We are born into values
that tell us if we go to school and get a fancy degree and a high-paying job,
then we'll be happy, and we spend our entire lives pursuing these things
that really don't matter. Do you see? When we all die, it doesn't matter
how much we earned or what job we had. We all go back to zero.
There are other ways to live than the ones people tell you.
Let go of everything that does not matter. We are all individual beings,
we are not part of something bigger, and only we can decide our fates.
–Duncan Conley
"If for one minute you think you're better than a sixteen
year old girl in a Green Day t-shirt, you are sorely mistaken.
Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band.
You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn't know anything about
scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this
music made you feel different from anyone you shared
a locker with. Someone finally understood you. T
his is what music is about."
In your whole life,
nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.
and the limit of your self-abuse is exactly
the limit of abuse that you will tolerate from someone else.
And this is the epitome of everything you see in the movies And this world is a time bomb ticking and I think I can stop it if you help me "you must acquire the trick of ignoring those who do not like you.
in my experience, those who do not like you fall into two categories:
the stupid and the envious.
the stupid will like you in 5 years time.
the envious, never."
-the libertine               I somewhat want something similar to this on my wrist... with temporary tattoos! :D   }        
for some odd reason, I really like big cameras, bigger than my hands..
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| I need to make a habit of this again. :/
I need new inspiration. (: have you heard of my religon?
it's called the church of hot addiction.
oy, that song is stuck in my head now.   
  
  
  
  
  
I realized that I really like spiral staircases.
oy oy oy oy gorgeous kid.
plasticines?
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
-Dr. Seuss
some point you learn to accept the fact
that the people you wish wouldn't change,
do. goodbyes hurt, but only mean forever
if you let them, pictures never replace being
there & nothing lasts forever , but you also
learn to laugh until your stomach hurts. act
so crazy people think your high & live for
the days with your best friends; && just
having fun because life's too short to worry
about change
Isn't it crazy how the world changes, how feelings change. it seems as if everyday something's differant..someone's differant. but please don't be scared life is a rollercoaster & your front row.
And we'll discover new music together.
We'll call it our band and nobody else will know about it.
We'll fall in love while listening to it
during long drives while squeezing
each others hands to the beat.
let's talk about spaceships.
or anything exept you && me.
okay? okay.
contrary to what the cynics say; distance
is not for the fearful, it is for the bold..
its for those willing to spend alot of time alone
in exchange for a little time with the one they love
its for those who know a good thing when the see it,
even if they dont see it nearly enough i think everyone has a certain part in there lives
where they wish they could just freeze time
where it was three years ago, today, or still to come,
where it was just a moment, a whole day , or a whole
summer. everyone has a time in there life where they wish
everything would just stop. the worl stop turning and the
people wuold stop changing. because to them, at that time,
everything was perfect
when exactly we go from kids to people, i'm not certain... i do know that it’s not about turning a certain age or graduating from high school; it happens when you're not paying attention. we go from playing with our friends to playing with our friends’ feelings. without our knowledge or consent, childhood slips away into the night and our innocence escapes us... and we wake up one morning to find that we have become who we are.
ps: Ipod Touches are sweet!
:] Eh, who's tired of seeing of seeing people looking like each other?
the other day I saw two girls walking by and I thought they were twins at first but they weren't. Just same hair and makeup I guess. :| | | |
| well uhm, Cohutta from Real World:Sydney came to my school during second lunch to have lunch with his friend... WTF! random. but this is bringing a lot of excitement in my little town. I get my hopes up and I watch them fall everytime. Another color turns to grey and it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away. I'm leaving today 'cause I've gotta do what's best for me.
change: we don't like it. we fear it.
but we can't stop it from coming
we either adapt to change
or we get left behind
it hurts to grow.
anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying.
but here's the truth, sometimes the more things change,
the more they stay the same. and sometimes, oh sometimes,
change is good. sometimes, change is everything.
-grey's anatomy "That's what I thought too," he said at last, "when I was your age. If there's just one kind of folks, why can't they get along with each other? If they're all alike, why do they go out of their way to despise each other?"
-To Kill A Mockingbird We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to tsee the present only when it is already disappearing.
--R.D. Laing don't worry about the world coming to an end today. it's already tomorrow in australia.
--charles m. schulz No true fiasco ever began as a quest for mere adequacy. A motto of the British Special Air Force is: 'Those who risk, win.' A single green vine shoot is able to grow through cement. The Pacific Northwestern salmon beats itself bloody on it's quest to travel hundreds of miles upstream against the current, with a single purpose, sex of course, but also....life
There is no order in the world around us,
we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.
It is hard to adapt to chaos, but it can be done.
I am living proof of that: It can be done. Sometimes I think I am out of my league
And then sometimes I think I can dream
Sometimes I wish I could be the one fish
That you choose out of all in the sea Cause this shit is not about pants and this shit's not about shirts. And this shit is definitely not about hair. This shit is about having a good fucking time. Maybe music isn't dead, maybe music isn't dead. Maybe we all just forgot what it fucking sounded like.
One thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets – like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything, until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst
Shotgunning anybody in this room would be the moral equivalent of killing a car, a vacuum cleaner, a Barbie doll. Erasing a computer disk. Burning a book. Probably that goes for killing anyone in the world. We're all such products.
-Invisible Monsters
When we were little, life worked perfectly. No matter what happened, everything turned out alright in the end. Scraped knees, canceled play dates, dropped ice cream cones-- we would cry for a short time, but by the end of the day, everything would be perfect. And now as we've grown older, we've lost the faith as we stumble through each day, crying over broken hearts, lost friendships, and lost dreams. It seems like life and perfection have turned their backs on us, but really its just that we've grown up. As children we didn't pay attention to such details about our daily lives, but now we are more aware, and little details seem to be amplifying our pain. But just remember that when we were younger, life was hard too, but we had faith in perfection because we could look past faults. So don't lose your faith. Learn to know that each day will pass, each heartache will be mended, and everything will be perfect in the end. Just keep your faith.
What makes humans human is precisely that they do not know the future. That is why they do the fateful and amusing things they do: who can say how anything will turn out? Therein lies the only hope for redemption, discovery, and--let's be frank--fun, fun, fun! There might be things people will get away with. And not just motel towels. There might be great illicit loves, enduring joy, faith-shaking accidents with farm machinery. But you have to not know in order to see what stories your life's efforts bring you. The mystery is all.
"I think that's what I find most strange about this world is that nobody ever says how they feel. They hurt, but they don't cry out. They're happy, but they don't dance or jump around. And they're angry but they hardly ever scream. Because they feel ashamed. Nothing's worse than that. So we all walk around with our heads looking down and never look up and see how beautiful the sky is."
Studies have shown that people convince themselves that they're acting rationally when making major decisions-- where to go to college, what to major in, who to kiss or not kiss--when they're really acting on unconscious impulses. The human brain simply can't handle all the complexities that life offers, so emotions kick in and end up making the call. And when that call blows, people don't understand why. You know, it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments in our lives while they're happening, that we grow complacent with ideas or things or people, and we take them for granted, and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you, that you realize how wrong you've been, that you realize how much you really need it, how much you love it.
Maybe love, too, is beautiful because it has a wildness that cannot be tamed. I don't know. All I know is that that passion can take you up like a house of cards in a tornado, leaving destruction in it's wake. Or it can let you alone because you have built a stone wall against it, set out the armed guards to keep it from touching you. The real trick is to let it in, bur to hold on. To understand that the heart is as vast and wide as the universe, but that we come to know it best from here, this place of gravity and stability, where our feet can still touch ground.
Courage is not the absence of fear. But the judgement of that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. i make mistakes. i have regrets. i hate being alone.
i can't go a day without spilling something on myself.
i never call anyone back. i don't like being wrong.
i'm a huge procrastinator. i act a lot smarter than
actually am. i hate being ignored. i cry. i'm shy.
i can't start a conversation with anyone. i have
enemies. i have horrible balance. i laugh way to
loud. i can't look anyone in the eye. many things
just seem to get to me... i guess what i'm trying to say is
i'm not perfect. 
probably the 5th time I've put this picture up..
oh I'm definately going to wear something like that for prom..
and forcing my date to wear something like that. :D
haha I keeeed about the forcing the date.
  
  
major credit - ITSaCALAMITY_photographs hi, I'm alive, are you?
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| wow, the way I typed in past entries were quite different and the way I chose quotes and pictures were usually about love. I thought I was in love but I wasn't, it was infactuation.
I hope everybody gets a chance at love later on in their life. :) not that much (sorry) but Moreeee later on!
    
that is quite amazing. kudos to the artist. :)
this kinda gives the Alice's through the looking glass feeling.
that is really lovely.
  
I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough
those blue eyes are so contagious.
right now i feel like i'm moving on in you.
i'm restless. are you restless?
Here's to fireworks and fireflies and sharing looks and making eyes, the kind that lead to laughs and sighs when spread across a summer sky. What's so wrong with singalongs to melodies from July songs? It's the people who hug you and never want to let go. The people who you haven't seen for months, but nothing has changed at all. The people who give to you more than you give to them. The people that truly understand who you are. The people who you cry about, the people who you live for. The people in your photographs that have light genuinely shining through their eyes and their smile. The people that take your breath away.
love, she believed, should arrive all at once with thunder and lightning- a whirlwind from the skies that affects life, turns it every which way, wrestles resolutions away like leaves and plunges the entire heart into the abyss So dont let the world bring you down,
not everyone here is that fucked up
and cold. Just remember why you came
and while you alive experience the warmth
before you grow old.
all of our lives, we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete.
we choose partners and change partners ; we dance to songs of heartbreak and hope.
all the while, we're wondering if somewhere, somehow,
there's someone who might be searching for us. better to have tried.
better to have learned.
better to take that risk.
then let this world wear you down. I've never been scared of someone before.
Sometimes a little intimidated, but never scared.
But you, you scare me.
With your beautiful eyes and your amazing smile.
I'm so scared that I'll want to love you forever,
And you'll want me for only a few moments in your life
i find myself glancing in your direction
during class. and it makes my heart
jump all over the place when i catch
you staring right back.
I'm happy.
I swear to God I am.
I sing in the shower && dance down the hall.
I laugh && giggle.
I do all the things happy people do.
I just love life, but that doesn't mean I don't miss him.
It doesn't mean I don't wish things ended differently.
&& it doesn't mean I don't get upset over the fact that he doesn't miss me at all.
No, it doesn't. I Don't Get It.
she stares at you all through class. she's always trying to be around you. & yet, you're totally blind to all of it. COULD THIS BE OUT OF LINE:
to say you're the only one
breaking me down like this?
you're the only one i would take a shot on
KEEP ME HANGING ON,
SO CONTAGIOUSLY
in this dream that i had...."you can't kill heroes"
-that's what we said to them "you can't kill us."
with our instruments broken before us and the boys in the line
they begin to count to five, and the trigger pulls.
the bullets pepper the brick wall behind our heads and the smoke, it fills the air.
the captain yells to cease fire and the squad behins to wait and stare as the dust clears the air, and we're still standing with smiles on
both our faces. we spit their faulty ammo to the ground, a
nd remind them, once again, that you can't
kill heroes
QUESTION!:
What is a good product to get rid of acne?
No seriously, I want to know. I have a bad case of acne well not that bad but I just want it to go away.[ps: I'm getting tired of people becoming "scene" or whatever" It's getting annoying, no offense. :/] ...I ran into my crush last night..
and we high fived?
actually he saw me with his little group of friend and walked by and high fived me...
wtf. maybe I do keep my hopes too high. FEEDBACKKKKKK!
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